Plot: A man finds himself captured by a psycho that wants to turn people in walruses.
Review: Have you ever had a stoner tell you a joke? And he keeps laughing at his own jokes, having to go back and retell the premise so by the end you’ve either guessed the punch line or he spoiled it for you. That’s Tusk.
Do you think the word NAZI is funny? What if it was spelled Not-See? What about Canadian stereotypes? What if said stereotypes were only learned from wikipedia entries on Canada? All that and much less in Tusk.
I used to like Kevin Smith and this movie was supposed to be the one that proved he still had it. But it’s not. It’s a half formed idea stretched to a movie that runs too long at an hour and a half. Worse there was almost a movie about realizing that internet jokes are real people and the circumstances of the digital age. But why do something real when you can have fart jokes?
Smith can’t really do tension and without it, this movie just falls flat. But to make matters worse, a lot of the film just repeats itself over and over. The best example is this: In the movie, the walrus is named Mr. Tusk because we learn the old man met a nice janitor named Mr. Tuskee who he nicknamed Mr. Tusk. Also Walrus have Tusk. So instead of being like “oh of course he’s named Mr. Tusk, Walruses have Tusks,” we get a backstory that has to rely on the weirdest coincidences to make any sense. The over explaining of EVERYTHING is what make this movies so bad. You can’t even find fun in the camp when it keeps talking down to you like you are an idiot.
Basically when you’re thinking “Man, Kevin Smith really needs to take some pointers from the Human Centipede” something has gone very wrong.
Trivia: Real quick, Johnny Depp’s daughter is in this and she looks like Tim Burton made a woman out of his dreams (his dreams made up of Johnny Depp in a blonde wig!) Also her name is Lily-Rose Melody Depp because of course it is.
SPOILERS PS: At the very end, the lady looks at Justin Long as a walrus and she says “the difference between humans and animals is that humans cry” then it cuts to Justin Long crying and I wanted to stand up and yell ANIMALS CRY ALL THE TIME YOU FUCKING IDIOT!