Plot: For the first time since the first movie, the Twilight saga gets actual conflict before pulling the rug in a last fuck you to any non-book readers.
Review: Holy shit this movie was actually had things going on! It was like a whole different series. The look was better, it actually had some story and even Lee Pace came in and attempted to act for a bit. But then things fall apart as the big climatic scene, that showed real change and consequences, was just a dream sequences. If we cut all the dream sequences out of twilight the series would be like 15 minutes of a creepy guy stalking a boring girl.
The first is pretty fun as numerous the movie shows just how little the two parents care about their child. The plot is that they have a child that isn’t a child vampire but some people think it is so they fight instead of talk. But like one scene has Bella and Edward talk about how they wanna fuck for ten years straight without leaving their house, despite the fact that they have a daughter. Bella is now a vampire and in Bella tradition despite doing nothing, she is the better and most powerful of any vampire ever. TWILIGHT!
So the evil vampires decide to attack and so the Cullens decide to gain witnesses to show the evil ones that their daughter isn’t a vampire baby, which is against the law, but a vampire/human baby which isn’t? Also the fact that there was a little girl in one of the other movies doesn’t faze anyone. So the plot is based off the fact that the evil vampires don’t use phones as this could be easily fixed. Also the evil vampires say they are gonna attack either way because they hate the Cullens so UGH! But you know things are happening! It’s weird that things are moving even if everyone is written wooden and terrible there is at least an attempt at things. This presents a problem because it’s not as fun as a dumb movie but it’s also not a good movie. So it basically just becomes a bad movie EXCEPT!!!
CREEPY TWILIGHT MOMENT: Nothing can beat the fact that Jacob, who hasn’t had a purpose since book 2, falls in love with the baby and talks about how much he loves her. He says that it’s not just about creepy love but also how much he wants to be like a teacher, father, brother, and then lover! And this is supposed to make it better! Also at the end, they say that the girl will reach full maturity at age 7. So Stephanie Meyer, who is making this thing up on her own, decided that Jacob should be in love with a 7 year old after falling in love with her as a baby. I mean….. TWILIGHT!!!!
That and Bella yelling “You nicknamed my baby after the Loch Ness Monster” made it worth it. Also that line is better in context.
Trivia: The fight scene dream sequence wasn’t in the book, probably because it was dumb as hell.