Movie I Saw

Questions, Comments?   I review movies, mostly to keep count of how many I watch.

This week I hope to look at A Walk Among Tombstones, Tusk, The Equalizer and maybe some Godzilla! 

— 4 hours ago
#a walk among the tombstones  #tusk  #the equalizer  #godzilla  #Movie I Saw 

lastdaysofandrewjara:

Plot: A woman realizes that her internet life doesn’t compare to real life and gets a marketing vp to help rebrand her image.   

Review:. The show sounds bad.  Let’s not get around it, yes I saw the trailer too and thought it looked like garbage.  But I also saw Guardians of the Galaxy and Nebula, just Nebula.  So I gave it a shot.

And I’m glad I did.  Sure the show is off to a bumpy start and sometimes relies too much on thinking words like “hashtag” are funny but the leads win it over.  Karen Gillan plays the annoying main character with a bit of heart that makes you not hate her and she has the funniest moments.  John Cho also brings his charm and great annoyed face to the show.  

I found myself liking the characters and wanting to see more which is really all a pilot can do.  It may all fall apart but for now I’m on board. 

Also it’s available now on Hulu so you can see for yourself now! 

WILL I KEEP WATCHING: #forsure… I apologize for that joke

— 1 day ago with 3 notes
#selfie  #karen gillan  #TV I Watch  #tv show  #review  #reviews 
Anonymous asked: Luke Grimes isn't in No One Lives. It's Luke Evans :)


Answer:

oh shit thanks! I’ll change it now… what’s the deal with lukes haha

— 2 days ago
Plot: After robbing a couple, thieves realize the man, now after them, is more dangerous than they could have ever imagined.   
Review: No one lives has one things going for it: Luke Evans.  His charm and character seem out of another better movie.  The problem is they don’t really use him as well as they should.  Instead they follow the thieves and the thieves are boring.  They don’t even react to being murdered in a great way since they are so “tough.”  So what you get is a really boring movie with a cool character that can’t save it.    
Trivia:  Produced by WWE entertainment. 

Plot: After robbing a couple, thieves realize the man, now after them, is more dangerous than they could have ever imagined.   

Review: No one lives has one things going for it: Luke Evans.  His charm and character seem out of another better movie.  The problem is they don’t really use him as well as they should.  Instead they follow the thieves and the thieves are boring.  They don’t even react to being murdered in a great way since they are so “tough.”  So what you get is a really boring movie with a cool character that can’t save it.    

Trivia:  Produced by WWE entertainment. 

— 2 days ago with 1 note
#no one lives  #adelaide clemens  #lindsay shaw  #horror  #movie  #movies  #Movie I Saw  #2014  #review  #reviews  #WWE  #luke evans 
Plot: A prince starts calling himself Hercules in a name change that takes way too long to explain and must fight his dad, not Zeus, his other dad, just some dude.   
Review: There is a scene at the end of the Hercules that I watched about 50 times.  SPOILERS FOR A MOVIE YOU DONT CARE ABOUT so hercules’ girlfriend kills herself to save him?  It’s not important why but what is important is that the film cuts and in one cut she’s happy she got stabbed and in the other she’s making the dumbest I’m dead face ever created.  A scene like this almost made the movie worth seeing but those so bad it’s good scenes don’t last in Hercules.  Instead it’s replaced with boring characters saying boring things in the most boring way possible.  Also some one please put Kellan Lutz away because he is terrible. 
It doesn’t even get Hercules right.  Here Hera willingly lets Zeus have a baby which is not canon for a 3000 year old tale, I mean even The Legendary Journey got the Hera thing right.  
Also I know it’s cool to hate 300 now, but this movie shows you the difference. Because when done right, the “300” effect looks like a stylized other world but done wrong and it just looks like a cheap almost gimmick.   
Trivia:  Lutz won the role 2 weeks before it started. 

Plot: A prince starts calling himself Hercules in a name change that takes way too long to explain and must fight his dad, not Zeus, his other dad, just some dude.   

Review: There is a scene at the end of the Hercules that I watched about 50 times.  SPOILERS FOR A MOVIE YOU DONT CARE ABOUT so hercules’ girlfriend kills herself to save him?  It’s not important why but what is important is that the film cuts and in one cut she’s happy she got stabbed and in the other she’s making the dumbest I’m dead face ever created.  A scene like this almost made the movie worth seeing but those so bad it’s good scenes don’t last in Hercules.  Instead it’s replaced with boring characters saying boring things in the most boring way possible.  Also some one please put Kellan Lutz away because he is terrible.

It doesn’t even get Hercules right.  Here Hera willingly lets Zeus have a baby which is not canon for a 3000 year old tale, I mean even The Legendary Journey got the Hera thing right.  

Also I know it’s cool to hate 300 now, but this movie shows you the difference. Because when done right, the “300” effect looks like a stylized other world but done wrong and it just looks like a cheap almost gimmick.   

Trivia:  Lutz won the role 2 weeks before it started. 

— 3 days ago with 2 notes
#kellan lutz  #300  #legend of hercules  #hercules  #action  #2014  #movies  #movie  #film  #review  #reviews  #Movie I Saw 
Plot: A scientist makes a killing machine that may becoming human.   
Review: The Machine has a good premise, good special effects and good themes, it’s just missing one thing: Engaging characters.  I just didn’t care about anything that’s been going on because I didn’t care about anyone involved.  I didn’t care if the scientist lived or if the machine made it because the movie didn’t make me care.  I would say see this if you ever wonder why compelling characters are so important. 
You can do everything else right but if you don’t have that, you get nothing!
Trivia:  No trivia but sorry these reviews have been so short.  It’s just the movies lately have been so bland.  I can’t hate or love them because they don’t really earn it. 

Plot: A scientist makes a killing machine that may becoming human.   

Review: The Machine has a good premise, good special effects and good themes, it’s just missing one thing: Engaging characters.  I just didn’t care about anything that’s been going on because I didn’t care about anyone involved.  I didn’t care if the scientist lived or if the machine made it because the movie didn’t make me care.  I would say see this if you ever wonder why compelling characters are so important.

You can do everything else right but if you don’t have that, you get nothing!

Trivia:  No trivia but sorry these reviews have been so short.  It’s just the movies lately have been so bland.  I can’t hate or love them because they don’t really earn it. 

— 4 days ago with 1 note
#the machine  #sci-fi  #caity lotz  #movie  #film  #2014  #movies  #Movie I Saw  #review  #reviews  #movie review 
Plot: A girl exists I guess?    
Review: I like erotic films.  I think sexuality is something that is great to explore and base movies on.  The problem is erotic films kind of suck.  The main problem seems to be that the filmmakers seem to get so involved in “look what we can show on screen! PeePees!” that they forget to actually make a movie. 
This is Klip’s main problem which seems to be that 14 year old girls have sex.  That’s fine and worth exploring but you also have to say something else.  Explore that idea a bit, take a stance whether it’s good or bad, do something with your plot.  Have them repeat the same scene of “girl gets taken advantage of by boy” in different locations gets boring and have it be 14 years old make it creepy.  There was just nothing here. 
The only thing that was in any way interesting was that Russian music have really weird and basic lyrics.  
Trivia:  The young actors all had body doubles. 

Plot: A girl exists I guess?    

Review: I like erotic films.  I think sexuality is something that is great to explore and base movies on.  The problem is erotic films kind of suck.  The main problem seems to be that the filmmakers seem to get so involved in “look what we can show on screen! PeePees!” that they forget to actually make a movie.

This is Klip’s main problem which seems to be that 14 year old girls have sex.  That’s fine and worth exploring but you also have to say something else.  Explore that idea a bit, take a stance whether it’s good or bad, do something with your plot.  Have them repeat the same scene of “girl gets taken advantage of by boy” in different locations gets boring and have it be 14 years old make it creepy.  There was just nothing here.

The only thing that was in any way interesting was that Russian music have really weird and basic lyrics.  

Trivia:  The young actors all had body doubles. 

— 5 days ago
#KLIP  #clip  #sex  #erotic  #film  #films  #Movie I Saw  #movies  #2014  #review  #reviews 
Plot: A group of friends trip in the desert.   
Review: Crystal Fairy perfectly captures being sober while a bunch of hipsters get high (as a film student, I have experienced this firsthand a lot!) It states it’s a comedy but nothing funny really happens and everything.  Also I can’t really stand movies where Americans go to a foreign country and act like it’s the country’s fault that it isn’t America.  Asking prostitutes why they don’t have real jobs?  Haha how engaging!  
Also like Magic, Magic before it, it’s a departure for Michael Cera.  The problem is that this isn’t a good new direction.  I don’t know what the director somehow manages to take away all the charm of Cera, which worked in Magic Magic but ruins this one.  
No after awhile it gets terrible and never really gets it back. 
Trivia:  The movie was 90% improvised because of course it was. 

Plot: A group of friends trip in the desert.   

Review: Crystal Fairy perfectly captures being sober while a bunch of hipsters get high (as a film student, I have experienced this firsthand a lot!) It states it’s a comedy but nothing funny really happens and everything.  Also I can’t really stand movies where Americans go to a foreign country and act like it’s the country’s fault that it isn’t America.  Asking prostitutes why they don’t have real jobs?  Haha how engaging!  

Also like Magic, Magic before it, it’s a departure for Michael Cera.  The problem is that this isn’t a good new direction.  I don’t know what the director somehow manages to take away all the charm of Cera, which worked in Magic Magic but ruins this one.  

No after awhile it gets terrible and never really gets it back. 

Trivia:  The movie was 90% improvised because of course it was. 

— 6 days ago
#Michael Cera  #magic magic  #crystal fairy and the magical cactus  #comedy  #drama  #movies  #movie  #review  #reviews  #Movie I Saw  #2014  #film  #films 
Plot: To stop a war between aliens and humans, the army enlists children to lead.   
Review: Ender’s Game is super boring.  I think it’s mostly due to the acting as the kids never act like kids, don’t act like adults and have almost no personality.  Call it the “After Earth” syndrome.  I know this is a beloved book (or at least I’ve heard of it) and I could see some things that might be cool in book form but the movie just does nothing with it.  
There is no spectacle and with a space epic, you kind of need to see the amazement of the film.  It’s pretty much a paint by numbers story. I think it’s mostly for fans of the books to finally have a little footnote of the movie and the filmmakers forgot about everyone else.  
Trivia:  The US Marines have the book on their recommended reading list. 

Plot: To stop a war between aliens and humans, the army enlists children to lead.   

Review: Ender’s Game is super boring.  I think it’s mostly due to the acting as the kids never act like kids, don’t act like adults and have almost no personality.  Call it the “After Earth” syndrome.  I know this is a beloved book (or at least I’ve heard of it) and I could see some things that might be cool in book form but the movie just does nothing with it.  

There is no spectacle and with a space epic, you kind of need to see the amazement of the film.  It’s pretty much a paint by numbers story. I think it’s mostly for fans of the books to finally have a little footnote of the movie and the filmmakers forgot about everyone else.  

Trivia:  The US Marines have the book on their recommended reading list. 

— 1 week ago with 1 note
#ender's game  #harrison ford  #sci-fi  #film  #movies  #action  #Movie I Saw  #2014  #book 
Plot: A retired DEA agent must protect his family from bad guys.   
Review: Is my plot synopsis too simplistic up there?  Well that’s kind of the problem from the movies.  Stealing more from 90s action than 80s action, the movie just kind of moves from scene to scene with no real character or heart.  Sylvester Stallone, the writer, knows how charismatic Jason Statham can be but instead paints him as a boring, dull, stand in that might have worked for Stallone but seems boring with Statham.  James Franco has fun in his role but more in a “James Franco what are you doing?” type of way than a this is his character type of way. 
Everything else is inconsequential other than Statham hasn’t made a good movie since Killer Elite, which makes me sad.  He’s awesome and deserves awesome movies. 
Trivia:  Was originally going to be Rambo 5.  (wait what the fuck, really?) 

Plot: A retired DEA agent must protect his family from bad guys.   

Review: Is my plot synopsis too simplistic up there?  Well that’s kind of the problem from the movies.  Stealing more from 90s action than 80s action, the movie just kind of moves from scene to scene with no real character or heart.  Sylvester Stallone, the writer, knows how charismatic Jason Statham can be but instead paints him as a boring, dull, stand in that might have worked for Stallone but seems boring with Statham.  James Franco has fun in his role but more in a “James Franco what are you doing?” type of way than a this is his character type of way. 

Everything else is inconsequential other than Statham hasn’t made a good movie since Killer Elite, which makes me sad.  He’s awesome and deserves awesome movies. 

Trivia:  Was originally going to be Rambo 5.  (wait what the fuck, really?) 

— 1 week ago with 1 note
#Rambo  #Jason Statham  #sylvester stallone  #homefront  #James Franco  #action  #movies  #movie  #review  #reviews  #film  #films  #Movie I Saw  #2014