Movie I Saw

Questions, Comments?   I review movies, mostly to keep count of how many I watch.

Plot: 50 women are forced to fight to the death.   
Review: The best thing I can say about Raze is it’s pretty harmless.  It goes by fast and you don’t feel like you’re wasting your time.  But it’s still not great. I think it’s because it’s so repetitive.  I mean if you look at enter the dragon, the location of the fights change, their motivations, even their looks are all different to give you a taste of their characters and why they are doing this.  But here all the fights are in the same place, all the girls are doing it for the same reason (except the one villain that tries to Joker it up.)
It just gets really boring, really fast.  I mean it’s supposed to be like a fun gritty action film.  But there’s nothing to latch on to and it’s just not great.     
Trivia:  The action scenes were filmed in 30 days. 

Plot: 50 women are forced to fight to the death.   

Review: The best thing I can say about Raze is it’s pretty harmless.  It goes by fast and you don’t feel like you’re wasting your time.  But it’s still not great. I think it’s because it’s so repetitive.  I mean if you look at enter the dragon, the location of the fights change, their motivations, even their looks are all different to give you a taste of their characters and why they are doing this.  But here all the fights are in the same place, all the girls are doing it for the same reason (except the one villain that tries to Joker it up.)

It just gets really boring, really fast.  I mean it’s supposed to be like a fun gritty action film.  But there’s nothing to latch on to and it’s just not great.     

Trivia:  The action scenes were filmed in 30 days. 

— 6 hours ago with 1 note
#zoe bell  #rachel nichols  #action  #raze  #film  #movies  #Movie I Saw  #2014  #review  #reviews  #films 
Plot: A man finds himself captured by a psycho that wants to turn people in walruses.   
Review: Have you ever had a stoner tell you a joke?  And he keeps laughing at his own jokes, having to go back and retell the premise so by the end you’ve either guessed the punch line or he spoiled it for you.  That’s Tusk.  
Do you think the word NAZI is funny?  What if it was spelled Not-See?  What about Canadian stereotypes?  What if said stereotypes were only learned from wikipedia entries on Canada?  All that and much less in Tusk.
I used to like Kevin Smith and this movie was supposed to be the one that proved he still had it.  But it’s not.  It’s a half formed idea stretched to a movie that runs too long at an hour and a half.  Worse there was almost a movie about realizing that internet jokes are real people and the circumstances of the digital age.  But why do something real when you can have fart jokes?  
Smith can’t really do tension and without it, this movie just falls flat.  But to make matters worse, a lot of the film just repeats itself over and over.  The best example is this:  In the movie, the walrus is named Mr. Tusk because we learn the old man met a nice janitor named Mr. Tuskee who he nicknamed Mr. Tusk.  Also Walrus have Tusk.  So instead of being like “oh of course he’s named Mr. Tusk, Walruses have Tusks,”  we get a backstory that has to rely on the weirdest coincidences to make any sense. The over explaining of EVERYTHING is what make this movies so bad.  You can’t even find fun in the camp when it keeps talking down to you like you are an idiot.  
Basically when you’re thinking “Man, Kevin Smith really needs to take some pointers from the Human Centipede” something has gone very wrong.   
Trivia:  Real quick, Johnny Depp’s daughter is in this and she looks like Tim Burton made a woman out of his dreams (his dreams made up of Johnny Depp in a blonde wig!) Also her name is Lily-Rose Melody Depp because of course it is. 
SPOILERS PS: At the very end, the lady looks at Justin Long as a walrus and she says “the difference between humans and animals is that humans cry” then it cuts to Justin Long crying and I wanted to stand up and yell ANIMALS CRY ALL THE TIME YOU FUCKING IDIOT! 

Plot: A man finds himself captured by a psycho that wants to turn people in walruses.   

Review: Have you ever had a stoner tell you a joke?  And he keeps laughing at his own jokes, having to go back and retell the premise so by the end you’ve either guessed the punch line or he spoiled it for you.  That’s Tusk.  

Do you think the word NAZI is funny?  What if it was spelled Not-See?  What about Canadian stereotypes?  What if said stereotypes were only learned from wikipedia entries on Canada?  All that and much less in Tusk.

I used to like Kevin Smith and this movie was supposed to be the one that proved he still had it.  But it’s not.  It’s a half formed idea stretched to a movie that runs too long at an hour and a half.  Worse there was almost a movie about realizing that internet jokes are real people and the circumstances of the digital age.  But why do something real when you can have fart jokes?  

Smith can’t really do tension and without it, this movie just falls flat.  But to make matters worse, a lot of the film just repeats itself over and over.  The best example is this:  In the movie, the walrus is named Mr. Tusk because we learn the old man met a nice janitor named Mr. Tuskee who he nicknamed Mr. Tusk.  Also Walrus have Tusk.  So instead of being like “oh of course he’s named Mr. Tusk, Walruses have Tusks,”  we get a backstory that has to rely on the weirdest coincidences to make any sense. The over explaining of EVERYTHING is what make this movies so bad.  You can’t even find fun in the camp when it keeps talking down to you like you are an idiot.  

Basically when you’re thinking “Man, Kevin Smith really needs to take some pointers from the Human Centipede” something has gone very wrong.   

Trivia:  Real quick, Johnny Depp’s daughter is in this and she looks like Tim Burton made a woman out of his dreams (his dreams made up of Johnny Depp in a blonde wig!) Also her name is Lily-Rose Melody Depp because of course it is. 

SPOILERS PS: At the very end, the lady looks at Justin Long as a walrus and she says “the difference between humans and animals is that humans cry” then it cuts to Justin Long crying and I wanted to stand up and yell ANIMALS CRY ALL THE TIME YOU FUCKING IDIOT

— 1 day ago with 1 note
#kevin smith  #tusk  #justin long  #horror  #Movie I Saw  #2014  #movies  #movie  #review  #reviews  #film  #films  #lily-rose melody depp 

This week I hope to look at A Walk Among Tombstones, Tusk, The Equalizer and maybe some Godzilla! 

— 2 days ago
#a walk among the tombstones  #tusk  #the equalizer  #godzilla  #Movie I Saw 

lastdaysofandrewjara:

Plot: A woman realizes that her internet life doesn’t compare to real life and gets a marketing vp to help rebrand her image.   

Review:. The show sounds bad.  Let’s not get around it, yes I saw the trailer too and thought it looked like garbage.  But I also saw Guardians of the Galaxy and Nebula, just Nebula.  So I gave it a shot.

And I’m glad I did.  Sure the show is off to a bumpy start and sometimes relies too much on thinking words like “hashtag” are funny but the leads win it over.  Karen Gillan plays the annoying main character with a bit of heart that makes you not hate her and she has the funniest moments.  John Cho also brings his charm and great annoyed face to the show.  

I found myself liking the characters and wanting to see more which is really all a pilot can do.  It may all fall apart but for now I’m on board. 

Also it’s available now on Hulu so you can see for yourself now! 

WILL I KEEP WATCHING: #forsure… I apologize for that joke

— 3 days ago with 3 notes
#selfie  #karen gillan  #TV I Watch  #tv show  #review  #reviews 
Plot: After robbing a couple, thieves realize the man, now after them, is more dangerous than they could have ever imagined.   
Review: No one lives has one things going for it: Luke Evans.  His charm and character seem out of another better movie.  The problem is they don’t really use him as well as they should.  Instead they follow the thieves and the thieves are boring.  They don’t even react to being murdered in a great way since they are so “tough.”  So what you get is a really boring movie with a cool character that can’t save it.    
Trivia:  Produced by WWE entertainment. 

Plot: After robbing a couple, thieves realize the man, now after them, is more dangerous than they could have ever imagined.   

Review: No one lives has one things going for it: Luke Evans.  His charm and character seem out of another better movie.  The problem is they don’t really use him as well as they should.  Instead they follow the thieves and the thieves are boring.  They don’t even react to being murdered in a great way since they are so “tough.”  So what you get is a really boring movie with a cool character that can’t save it.    

Trivia:  Produced by WWE entertainment. 

— 4 days ago with 1 note
#no one lives  #adelaide clemens  #lindsay shaw  #horror  #movie  #movies  #Movie I Saw  #2014  #review  #reviews  #WWE  #luke evans 
Plot: A prince starts calling himself Hercules in a name change that takes way too long to explain and must fight his dad, not Zeus, his other dad, just some dude.   
Review: There is a scene at the end of the Hercules that I watched about 50 times.  SPOILERS FOR A MOVIE YOU DONT CARE ABOUT so hercules’ girlfriend kills herself to save him?  It’s not important why but what is important is that the film cuts and in one cut she’s happy she got stabbed and in the other she’s making the dumbest I’m dead face ever created.  A scene like this almost made the movie worth seeing but those so bad it’s good scenes don’t last in Hercules.  Instead it’s replaced with boring characters saying boring things in the most boring way possible.  Also some one please put Kellan Lutz away because he is terrible. 
It doesn’t even get Hercules right.  Here Hera willingly lets Zeus have a baby which is not canon for a 3000 year old tale, I mean even The Legendary Journey got the Hera thing right.  
Also I know it’s cool to hate 300 now, but this movie shows you the difference. Because when done right, the “300” effect looks like a stylized other world but done wrong and it just looks like a cheap almost gimmick.   
Trivia:  Lutz won the role 2 weeks before it started. 

Plot: A prince starts calling himself Hercules in a name change that takes way too long to explain and must fight his dad, not Zeus, his other dad, just some dude.   

Review: There is a scene at the end of the Hercules that I watched about 50 times.  SPOILERS FOR A MOVIE YOU DONT CARE ABOUT so hercules’ girlfriend kills herself to save him?  It’s not important why but what is important is that the film cuts and in one cut she’s happy she got stabbed and in the other she’s making the dumbest I’m dead face ever created.  A scene like this almost made the movie worth seeing but those so bad it’s good scenes don’t last in Hercules.  Instead it’s replaced with boring characters saying boring things in the most boring way possible.  Also some one please put Kellan Lutz away because he is terrible.

It doesn’t even get Hercules right.  Here Hera willingly lets Zeus have a baby which is not canon for a 3000 year old tale, I mean even The Legendary Journey got the Hera thing right.  

Also I know it’s cool to hate 300 now, but this movie shows you the difference. Because when done right, the “300” effect looks like a stylized other world but done wrong and it just looks like a cheap almost gimmick.   

Trivia:  Lutz won the role 2 weeks before it started. 

— 5 days ago with 2 notes
#kellan lutz  #300  #legend of hercules  #hercules  #action  #2014  #movies  #movie  #film  #review  #reviews  #Movie I Saw 
Plot: A scientist makes a killing machine that may becoming human.   
Review: The Machine has a good premise, good special effects and good themes, it’s just missing one thing: Engaging characters.  I just didn’t care about anything that’s been going on because I didn’t care about anyone involved.  I didn’t care if the scientist lived or if the machine made it because the movie didn’t make me care.  I would say see this if you ever wonder why compelling characters are so important. 
You can do everything else right but if you don’t have that, you get nothing!
Trivia:  No trivia but sorry these reviews have been so short.  It’s just the movies lately have been so bland.  I can’t hate or love them because they don’t really earn it. 

Plot: A scientist makes a killing machine that may becoming human.   

Review: The Machine has a good premise, good special effects and good themes, it’s just missing one thing: Engaging characters.  I just didn’t care about anything that’s been going on because I didn’t care about anyone involved.  I didn’t care if the scientist lived or if the machine made it because the movie didn’t make me care.  I would say see this if you ever wonder why compelling characters are so important.

You can do everything else right but if you don’t have that, you get nothing!

Trivia:  No trivia but sorry these reviews have been so short.  It’s just the movies lately have been so bland.  I can’t hate or love them because they don’t really earn it. 

— 6 days ago with 1 note
#the machine  #sci-fi  #caity lotz  #movie  #film  #2014  #movies  #Movie I Saw  #review  #reviews  #movie review 
Plot: A girl exists I guess?    
Review: I like erotic films.  I think sexuality is something that is great to explore and base movies on.  The problem is erotic films kind of suck.  The main problem seems to be that the filmmakers seem to get so involved in “look what we can show on screen! PeePees!” that they forget to actually make a movie. 
This is Klip’s main problem which seems to be that 14 year old girls have sex.  That’s fine and worth exploring but you also have to say something else.  Explore that idea a bit, take a stance whether it’s good or bad, do something with your plot.  Have them repeat the same scene of “girl gets taken advantage of by boy” in different locations gets boring and have it be 14 years old make it creepy.  There was just nothing here. 
The only thing that was in any way interesting was that Russian music have really weird and basic lyrics.  
Trivia:  The young actors all had body doubles. 

Plot: A girl exists I guess?    

Review: I like erotic films.  I think sexuality is something that is great to explore and base movies on.  The problem is erotic films kind of suck.  The main problem seems to be that the filmmakers seem to get so involved in “look what we can show on screen! PeePees!” that they forget to actually make a movie.

This is Klip’s main problem which seems to be that 14 year old girls have sex.  That’s fine and worth exploring but you also have to say something else.  Explore that idea a bit, take a stance whether it’s good or bad, do something with your plot.  Have them repeat the same scene of “girl gets taken advantage of by boy” in different locations gets boring and have it be 14 years old make it creepy.  There was just nothing here.

The only thing that was in any way interesting was that Russian music have really weird and basic lyrics.  

Trivia:  The young actors all had body doubles. 

— 1 week ago with 3 notes
#KLIP  #clip  #sex  #erotic  #film  #films  #Movie I Saw  #movies  #2014  #review  #reviews 
Plot: A group of friends trip in the desert.   
Review: Crystal Fairy perfectly captures being sober while a bunch of hipsters get high (as a film student, I have experienced this firsthand a lot!) It states it’s a comedy but nothing funny really happens and everything.  Also I can’t really stand movies where Americans go to a foreign country and act like it’s the country’s fault that it isn’t America.  Asking prostitutes why they don’t have real jobs?  Haha how engaging!  
Also like Magic, Magic before it, it’s a departure for Michael Cera.  The problem is that this isn’t a good new direction.  I don’t know what the director somehow manages to take away all the charm of Cera, which worked in Magic Magic but ruins this one.  
No after awhile it gets terrible and never really gets it back. 
Trivia:  The movie was 90% improvised because of course it was. 

Plot: A group of friends trip in the desert.   

Review: Crystal Fairy perfectly captures being sober while a bunch of hipsters get high (as a film student, I have experienced this firsthand a lot!) It states it’s a comedy but nothing funny really happens and everything.  Also I can’t really stand movies where Americans go to a foreign country and act like it’s the country’s fault that it isn’t America.  Asking prostitutes why they don’t have real jobs?  Haha how engaging!  

Also like Magic, Magic before it, it’s a departure for Michael Cera.  The problem is that this isn’t a good new direction.  I don’t know what the director somehow manages to take away all the charm of Cera, which worked in Magic Magic but ruins this one.  

No after awhile it gets terrible and never really gets it back. 

Trivia:  The movie was 90% improvised because of course it was. 

— 1 week ago with 2 notes
#Michael Cera  #magic magic  #crystal fairy and the magical cactus  #comedy  #drama  #movies  #movie  #review  #reviews  #Movie I Saw  #2014  #film  #films 
Plot: To stop a war between aliens and humans, the army enlists children to lead.   
Review: Ender’s Game is super boring.  I think it’s mostly due to the acting as the kids never act like kids, don’t act like adults and have almost no personality.  Call it the “After Earth” syndrome.  I know this is a beloved book (or at least I’ve heard of it) and I could see some things that might be cool in book form but the movie just does nothing with it.  
There is no spectacle and with a space epic, you kind of need to see the amazement of the film.  It’s pretty much a paint by numbers story. I think it’s mostly for fans of the books to finally have a little footnote of the movie and the filmmakers forgot about everyone else.  
Trivia:  The US Marines have the book on their recommended reading list. 

Plot: To stop a war between aliens and humans, the army enlists children to lead.   

Review: Ender’s Game is super boring.  I think it’s mostly due to the acting as the kids never act like kids, don’t act like adults and have almost no personality.  Call it the “After Earth” syndrome.  I know this is a beloved book (or at least I’ve heard of it) and I could see some things that might be cool in book form but the movie just does nothing with it.  

There is no spectacle and with a space epic, you kind of need to see the amazement of the film.  It’s pretty much a paint by numbers story. I think it’s mostly for fans of the books to finally have a little footnote of the movie and the filmmakers forgot about everyone else.  

Trivia:  The US Marines have the book on their recommended reading list. 

— 1 week ago with 1 note
#ender's game  #harrison ford  #sci-fi  #film  #movies  #action  #Movie I Saw  #2014  #book